LADY IN RED

For years I had a red dress that fit and flattered my figure. It was modest yet elegant and I truly felt beautiful wearing it. Once I wore it to a friends wedding and they played the song

 "Lady In Red"

'I've never seen you looking so lovely as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright
I've never seen so many men ask you if you wanted to dance
They're looking for a little romance, given half a chance
And I've never seen that dress you're wearing
Or that highlights in your hair that catch your eyes, I have been blind

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be
But I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget the way you look tonight

I've never seen you looking so gorgeous as you did tonight
I've never seen you shine so bright, you were amazing

I've never seen so many people want to be there by your side
And when you turned to me and smiled it took my breath away
And I have never had such a feeling
Such a feeling of complete and utter love, as I do tonight

The lady in red is dancing with me cheek to cheek
There's nobody here, it's just you and me, it's where I wanna be
Well I hardly know this beauty by my side
I'll never forget the way you look tonight

I never will forget the way you look tonight
The lady in red, my lady in red
My lady in red, my lady in red
I love you


I danced with my then young son and although the song is about a husbands admiration for his wifes beauty, I never felt more beautiful that night dancing  in my red dress. It was one of those indelible moments in the photo album of my mind. The feeling of being so accepting of myself and so in love with the perfection of the moment, like the song. It was in the present moment that he "sees" a beauty he appreciates beyond what he previously had..

It is New Years Eve 16 years later and I am attending a party where everyone is wearing fabulous glitzy clothes. I had not felt like dressing up this night so I am modestly dressed and not feeling fabulous by any means. I am content to just be where I am and am enjoying the company of my friends. The compliments are plentiful and well deserved between the other party goers.

As we are leaving, one of the fabulously dressed women says, "the thing I love most about living in this place is that my friends are always telling each other how beautiful they are" Te vez muy bien", is a common phrase in Latin countries. Ah yes!!! and especially in the Mexican town of San Miguel de Allende , where there are so many occasions to dress fabulously for. Women , both Mexican and foreigners , are generous and genuine with their compliments for each other.

I have been walking down the street when a woman I do not know well shouted, "tu eres hermosa",  from a passing car. You are beautiful!!!!
In that moment I felt the same as the night I was dancing with my son, wearing that red dress. 

This New Years Eve, my friends comment reminds me of how many times a simple compliment has brought that feeling back Since it is New Years Eve I feel this is a sign. This year I resolve to be more generous with my own compliments 
We all love and deserve to be the    LADY IN RED.

IT ALL POINTS TO SELF LOVE

The lessons of the week all seem to center around one theme this week. Or is there only one theme?  Self love. 

It began on Monday. I attended a Meditation and Dharma talk on gratitude. Ok I thought , that is easy. I am constantly grateful for the town I live in, my family and friends, my health, What is not to be grateful for? 
 But the talk centers around the gratitude we can choose to feel  for all the difficult people and circumstances we encounter in our lives. For it is those things and people that bring us the greatest catalysts for our own growth. I get the concept. Yes, I have worked through some major forgiveness relationships and consider myself "doing well"on that front. 
In my reading during the week I encounter a lovely transcript of a channeling session by St Germaine http://joyandclarity.blogspot.com/   titled: THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU. I copy some of the more profound ideas into my journal. "By engaging the truth of your true identity at the fundamental level ( the truth being that you are god/goddess/all that is in human form) you will begin to disentangle yourself from the complications of living in the world. You will find that the challenges you face are only imaginary, they only reflect the energy YOU were expending by keeping your masks in place."

 It goes on to say, "rest comfortably in the remembrance of your divinity, Rest in the knowledge of  WHO YOU ARE.."

A facebook friend posts a video of a unknown, to me, channel. His channeling centers on claiming your true identity as well, and that is the identity of the divine nature that sustains your life.

"When you focus on only this aspect you life will change forever."

Then there is my old youtube friend Mooji, the Jamaican guru who spontaneously lost his connection to his ego self. He comments that all the stories we create about ourselves keep us in a state of duality and separation. The beliefs fed us by society, parents and religion all keep us from the truth. There is only one consciousness (the ocean) that we are all expressing. The "outside" aspects only reflecting what we belief to be true about ourselves.  
 http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6t2XVQSZaII&feature=fvwrel

This is the end of that week.  After claiming these truths all week I have just finished reading an email from a woman , whose house I stayed in, claiming I had committed an unforgivable act by throwing out 6 small dried chili peppers that were in her million dollar perfect home. She was demanding an explanation and hopes that she would find no more of these unforgivable surprises. 
As I read it, my heart pounded with anger and the sheer stupidity of it. I wanted to respond - GET A F**KING LIFE LADY!!!
How myopic can anyone be.

But then the dharma teaching came to mind. Gratitude. Now here was the gift. The answer to my weeks outpouring . I was claiming my divinity and all the beliefs in opposition to that belief were being invited to show up in any form. I want to love and respect who I am and all that is not in accordance with that INSIDE me must be reflected so that I can see it. How can I feel like the goddess incarnate and allow it all to fly out the window when some woman who does not know anything about me claims I am unforgivable. 
My choice : feel guilty . Shame. Anger. or  see the gift of choice.

This woman was EVERY thought I have had of my imperfection, All the thousands of little things I accused myself of that were unforgivable. All that ridiculous self criticism . It is easy to say I love myself when there is no reflection of the "other" in my face.


Now  I actually feel the gratitude as I confirm over and over. 
I know who I am .
I know what I am
I know how I serve in the greater plan

I breath and release "her".

 I breath and recognize ME

What is unforgivable is my lack of recognition of my essence.
What is unforgivable is my ever giving power to anyone "outside" of me to remove the truth of my real nature.

I breath 
I know who I am 
I know What I am 
I know how I serve the greater plan

Thank you!

Hard Times Require Furious Dancing

For months I have attended belly dance classes, training my body in very precise isolations of  muscle sets, fine motor skills, hip lifts, and shimmies. I do not know why but there is a moment I know that I must leave these classes. There is some  drama happening that is draining my awareness and my offering of my dance to the Goddess. Yes, but it is more. When I first moved to San Miguel de Allende, Mexico I had attended a free form dance on Sunday mornings called Dance from the Soul.

 The music was of many different rhythms and attitudes. The dancers were the same.I had stopped going for so long, telling myself that I needed more discipline, a deeper practice. Now as I fly around the room expressing movement to the eclectic beats I realize how much my body has missed the variety of attitudes and the mixture of people. I know this feels right. I am glad I trusted my feelings and had the courage to leave my safe woman's group. Danza de Alma lets me sweat my prayers. I am able to push as hard as I want and use any part of my body to move any way that feels good.. The mental attitude is one of freedom.

Hard Times Require Furious Dancing.

This particular session ended with a song called ONE LOVE . And that is was.

ASPECTS OF SHE: Mittie Babette Roger

ASPECTS OF HER: I am SHE

 In my life I have known many aspects of the Goddess embodied in the women around my life. The aspects have ranged from women I love and admire to those I have found extremely challenging, like my mother.  And yet, all have shown me that they are SHE. 

Is the drop of the ocean anything other than the ocean?

On this blog, I would like to tell stories of some of these aspects of the SHE, including at some point my own mother.

Each of these women have impacted my life in deep ways and through them I have grown to love and respect more parts of myself. 

I first Mittie, a beautiful young bubbly woman I took to be in her mid  20's, in a belly dance class. Mittie has a beautiful body well suited to showing off the midriff area . I could tell she had worked hard on dance of all kinds. She introduces herself after my first class, " hi , I am Mittie," and she points to her middle as a visual que for her name. I can tell she loves to help people learn.

I always wonder how young people like her can make a living here in Mexico. She tells me she is a teacher. I suspect she is a good one. She teaches English to young students in a school. In two years she has also become fluent in Spanish. Her story includes her father and his wife living also in San Miguel de Allende .They had been "wiped out" in the hurricane Katrina that hit the New Orleans area. In a leap of faith they relocated to Mexico and he started a tequila business and she, a high end resale business. Mittie had come to visit and fell in love- not only with San Miguel and Mexico but a handsome young Mexican artist. They moved into together.

She had danced in many forms over most of her life. And on a creative level the artist seemed like a good match for her. I watched as Mittie over the next year in class develop into the embodiment of the Goddess through tribal style belly dance.

 She had quit teaching and now was traveling  to promote her father's tequila business in the US.  I would say she had the perfect personality to be in sales, bubbly , warm, confident, and above all genuine.

Genuine and authentic rank high on my attractive womanly attributes list. 

I strive for the high road myself. Not always achieving it but always looking for it. So I admire those on the same path. Mittie jokingly asked me one time where I ranked her on the my scale and I told her that she was a 10, jokingly of course.

But on the serious side, there really was not anything I did not like about Mittie.

She is kind, respectful, and funny. In class she treated me like everyone else. Women my age in the US are often marginalized and invisible to the young. I had experienced this once or twice in a Waldorf school town with lots of young,hip, "in" parents.  Mittie on the other hand, went out of her way to help me through my directionally challenged brain. In class I was often extending the wrong arm up or out, starting on the wrong leg ect.  Mittie would smile and either mirror to me the posture or physically move me into the correct posture.

A true pinnacle in Mittie's life arrived about 1 1/2 years after I met her. She and and another young woman studying belly dance were given major roles in a dance and drum show. Wearing a borrowed golden outfit, she had a six minute solo and a number that included balancing a sword on her head. It was breathtakingly beautiful. She had truly become the Goddess. 

Her artist partner was in the audience that night. After, I smiled and told him how wonderful it was. He smiled

back but did not seem to me  to be glowing with pride. Had he just seen too much belly dance?? I suspected more was going on.

Within 6 months of her stunning performance she would be moving on. He had asked her to stop dancing and traveling. While his artistic endeavors were never in question. 

Mittie moved on well.

She still respects her past partner and acknowledges his gifts to her life.

She moved on with pride and self respect because she recognizes on some level that she is SHE and can not be disrespected or put down. It is time. Time for the Goddess to stand forth. Be all that she is here to be.

She not only shows this respect for herself but for all of us. 

She is SHE.

( This gorgeous photo by our friend SEAN REAGAN)