It began on Monday. I attended a Meditation and Dharma talk on gratitude. Ok I thought , that is easy. I am constantly grateful for the town I live in, my family and friends, my health, What is not to be grateful for?
But the talk centers around the gratitude we can choose to feel for all the difficult people and circumstances we encounter in our lives. For it is those things and people that bring us the greatest catalysts for our own growth. I get the concept. Yes, I have worked through some major forgiveness relationships and consider myself "doing well"on that front.
In my reading during the week I encounter a lovely transcript of a channeling session by St Germaine http://joyandclarity.blogspot.com/ titled: THE TRUTH ABOUT YOU. I copy some of the more profound ideas into my journal. "By engaging the truth of your true identity at the fundamental level ( the truth being that you are god/goddess/all that is in human form) you will begin to disentangle yourself from the complications of living in the world. You will find that the challenges you face are only imaginary, they only reflect the energy YOU were expending by keeping your masks in place."
It goes on to say, "rest comfortably in the remembrance of your divinity, Rest in the knowledge of WHO YOU ARE.."
A facebook friend posts a video of a unknown, to me, channel. His channeling centers on claiming your true identity as well, and that is the identity of the divine nature that sustains your life.
"When you focus on only this aspect you life will change forever."
Then there is my old youtube friend Mooji, the Jamaican guru who spontaneously lost his connection to his ego self. He comments that all the stories we create about ourselves keep us in a state of duality and separation. The beliefs fed us by society, parents and religion all keep us from the truth. There is only one consciousness (the ocean) that we are all expressing. The "outside" aspects only reflecting what we belief to be true about ourselves.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6t2XVQSZaII&feature=fvwrel
This is the end of that week. After claiming these truths all week I have just finished reading an email from a woman , whose house I stayed in, claiming I had committed an unforgivable act by throwing out 6 small dried chili peppers that were in her million dollar perfect home. She was demanding an explanation and hopes that she would find no more of these unforgivable surprises.
As I read it, my heart pounded with anger and the sheer stupidity of it. I wanted to respond - GET A F**KING LIFE LADY!!!
How myopic can anyone be.
But then the dharma teaching came to mind. Gratitude. Now here was the gift. The answer to my weeks outpouring . I was claiming my divinity and all the beliefs in opposition to that belief were being invited to show up in any form. I want to love and respect who I am and all that is not in accordance with that INSIDE me must be reflected so that I can see it. How can I feel like the goddess incarnate and allow it all to fly out the window when some woman who does not know anything about me claims I am unforgivable.
My choice : feel guilty . Shame. Anger. or see the gift of choice.
This woman was EVERY thought I have had of my imperfection, All the thousands of little things I accused myself of that were unforgivable. All that ridiculous self criticism . It is easy to say I love myself when there is no reflection of the "other" in my face.
Now I actually feel the gratitude as I confirm over and over.
I know who I am .
I know what I am
I know how I serve in the greater plan
I breath and release "her".
I breath and recognize ME
What is unforgivable is my lack of recognition of my essence.
What is unforgivable is my ever giving power to anyone "outside" of me to remove the truth of my real nature.
I breath
I know who I am
I know What I am
I know how I serve the greater plan
Great post!
ReplyDeleteelsanne :D